I questioning myself on how i shoulf write a particular scene. The sexy part of a war/battle is not the bloodiness or gory but more on the tactics, logistics and strategy. I think a best scene of a battle are the gut wrench twist or the emotional impact of scene. Emotional impact, should happen before or after a battle scene. In my opinion a good battle scene is when you can see all the strategy and the tactics put into action. Whether that fails or not.
But that is not my problem
Sa mga lumipas na araw, walang sawa akong nagsulat at nagsulat. Paulit-ulit…pabago-bago,paibaiba…hinahanap ang tamang tempo at salita na makapaglalarawan nang aking iniisip. Mga Eksena at dayalogo nang mga tauhan na aking kilala sa mga nakalipas na buwan. Tinigil ko na ang paulit-ulit na pamamanugot nang aking mga isinusulat…Mas marami nang salita akong unuulit-ulit. habang tumatagal nababaliw na ako na aking sinusulat. Literal na sa tuwing inilalapat ko sa MS Word ang mga katagang hindi ko alam ang gagawin, ito ay sariling sangguni nang mental kong kalusugan sa pagsulat.
Gusto ko ang magsulat. gusto ko na kahit papaano ay mailathala ang aking mga isinulat. Subalit para akong isang hayop na sabik sa kapangyarihan na nang maatim ay sinabing hindi ko pala kaya…ito ay pagkagumon sa aking nilikhang daigdig! Hindi matakastakasan, hindi maiwan-iwan…
Kailangan ko nang manggagamot.
Kailangan ko nang terapewtika.
Exorcism, na ang aking kaluluwa ay sumasanib na sa aking isinusulat. Marami na akong naririnig na mga tinig——mga boses na nagsasabi nang aking mga pagkakamali. Nang mga aking ginagawa, at patuloy na ginagawa. Hindi ko na minamasama ang magkamali.
Nang riding-in-tandem na titigil sa aking walang sawang pagsulat, pag-iisip nang tama ba ang aking isinulat. Pagtatanong kung papaano ko mailalagay sa ayos o tamang landas ang aking isinisulat.
Sumisigaw na ang aking utak…tama na itigil mo na!!!
Gayong akong hayok na hayok….kumpiyansa na tama ang aking binabagting!
Patuloy na nagsusulat, kailangan ko nang tulong!
working on the continuation of ang mga Kalisag
Last night I drunk text messaged God
I just wanted to tell him I’d been thinkin’ about him
And to tell him I’m stalking a church
I meant to write starting a church
No one spells drunk texts right, anyway
Last night I sent out a buttload of embarrassing texts and then copied them to everyone I know
I was out sinning
Curled in a bed
The room is spinning
It’s all in my head
I can’t get to sleep
And the weight of the world
Is the weight of my sheets
Here’s the great thing about my church:
You can keep your religion ‘cause my church is for those of us who grew up wishing we believed in an afterlife
And for those of us who were so close to god we could practically lean over and make out with her
My church is sick of bloody crusades to the march of drum corps
I’ll start a church that gets pissed off and starts thumb wars
Maybe a church that gets Mondays off for religion reasons
A church that throws phone parties in elevators to learn about praise
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
We’ll dance as it burns for 8 magical days
That was a Jewish reference
No offense to Gideon bibles but my church goes into hotel rooms and fills up the drawers with chocolate pillow mints
And my church, if you choose to come to Sunday school, you don’t learn about hell
You eat Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert shaped potato chips and watch Chapelle’s show
My church had 10 commandments, 5 precepts, and a workplace abuse handbook but we partied hard last week and I think we left them in a restroom at Chuckie Cheese
Now we just go by a picture of a heart that I found on a bar napkin
My church tongue-kissed your mom last night
Um, I’m just kidding
She left 5 red fingers across my face
We hung out with the creator
I think she loves you
She’s got ‘daughter’ tattooed on her left bicep
‘Son’ on her right
My church is at the center of the planet and has the most amazing stained-glass windows
The glass is the floor of the ocean
The colors are where you look up and see blue and a manatee
I love manatees
And the forest canopy
Tony Montana comes to my church and forgets he left his cocaine in the car
We play “Stairway to Heaven” on Hendrix’s broken guitar
My church gets fucked up on communion wine
Asks lamp posts to be our Valentine
My church bar hops together
And my church, if you don’t blow yourself to smitherines, you get 17 virgins in a room to yourself
Or you go and play Starfox together
My church got beat up by the skateboard kids for being a rollerblade kid
But rolled to school the next day on one skate and 2 crutches
True to the fight
With a fist in the air
Screaming “fruit Buddhas unite!”
My church can feel it’s pulse in it’s fingertips
Has 3 stomachs because our fear is hard to swallow
But love always has room
My church has a love bladder and always asks to go to the bathroom
There are drawbacks of course:
My church will not resurrect your dead hamster
My church will not play for keeps
Give out baby Jesus Tomagachi’s
And Tom Cruise thinks my church sucks balls
I’m not Jesus Christ
But I can turn water into Kool-Aid
And I’m not Jim Jones
But my church is like, totally a cult
And everyone drinks the Kool-Aid
And everyone dies!
But for some people the Kool-Aid doesn’t kick in until you’re 105
Surrounded by everyone who matters most to you
Yes, some of us go early, but at my church you have to think about that possibility
‘Cause my church makes you scared
I’m talkin’ like waves of fear
Like you’re lying awake at night
And you pull the blankets up to your neck
And your covers are like a tsunami of fear
And you start hyperventilating
Thinking about how you’re getting older way faster than your dreams are getting accomplished
About how skinny your arms are
About how fat your tummy is
About how much it’s gonna suck to eventually lose the power to think about all the badass stuff we do at our church
Don’t fall asleep yet
Contrary to popular belief, that’s not where dreams get accomplished
The body of Christ is your body
The body of Buddha be your body
Your body be usable
Your body be suitable
Your body beautiful
You don’t need anything different
Keep your broken cell phones
Don’t delete your text messages
You might read those stupid-ass,
Badly spelled rants over on a Sunday morning…
And have a religious experience.
We cannot condone certain things because of what happen to certain films. Whether whomever fault it was, it doesn’t matter…we need to grow up, let the authorities handle the right decision and if there judgement clouded we need to fight for a right decision. But don’t boycott films because of a certain thing happen when an animal was used and maltreated to human causes. Someone needs to put food on their table. Someone needs pay bills and get all back the money they spent on making production.
Though Blogs are not a site for comments, Violent reaction and suggestion… I believe one part of learning is through the words of other people. I believe any reactions, maybe absurd and bullish is a way of learning.
Sa susunod na taon i-update ko ang aking mga blogpost. kasama ang mga kabanata nang mga Kalisag at ilan sa mga tula.
Maraming salamat sa iyong pagbabasa at pagpunta sa aking blog.